


Demon duo form hell

by fanfictionwriterinprogress



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas fic, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Loki and Peter team up cuz of plot reasons, Pranks, Tony Stark is secretly a vampire, maybe???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 07:19:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17096270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfictionwriterinprogress/pseuds/fanfictionwriterinprogress
Summary: Peter and Loki hang out, and Tony should really have seen all of this coming.





	Demon duo form hell

Tony was living the good life. Jarvis was restored to his old self; all his ones and zeroes were back where they were supposed to be. Pepper was as great as she has always been, their internal joke still going strong after their breakup, reminding him that he would always have a place by her side. It hadn’t been easy for a while, but after some time apart found they their rhythm again. Rhodey was still mostly overseas on classified missions that Tony knew absolutely everything about. Tony was just the kind of person that would definitely hack his best friends account and prank call the embassy. He was Tony Stark, and well, Rhodey was fun to mess with. Besides, with a password such as “WARMACHINEROX” Rhodey practically asked for Tony to at least have a little fun. Furthermore, now with no Avenger projects taking up all his space and SI not needing any more groundbreaking inventions for at least a month, Tony had finally time to be the suburban wine mom that everyone knew he was born to be. He mostly spends his nights drinking some wine or Sake if he was in the mood, re-watching the princess bride for the 15th time, or occasionally read a good book. And if anyone ever commented on the fact that he was instead sipping tea and was wearing reading glasses then they would be wise not to comment on it, otherwise, he would stick Jarvis on them, and no one dared to defy Jarvis.

 Pepper and Rhodey visited whenever they could, which was as stated earlier, much more than they used to. All of them simply had more time now, and they benefitted from it, a lot. Tony and Rhodey would go fly in their respective suits and have a little fun doing air-acrobatic and generally scaring Pepper out of her wits because it was fun when she got that look on her face, that said she was mad, but you could just see that she was fighting a smile. The Spiderling was gradually becoming a permanent resident. He was still living at his Aunt May’s house, but with all of his internship work and the various projects he had going on in the labs, had the kid barely any time to be at home.

 

The kid would sometimes crash in one of the suites made for him, and the next day would Tony take him to school. In one of his nice cars, because he was good like that. Well, he would be if the kid didn’t insist every damn time, to be dropped off a block before school, so that people didn’t see him arrive with Tony Stark and start asking questions. And well, Tony couldn’t blame him. Peter was an awful liar, so if people started asking him questions the chances that he would sprout everything was very likely. 

 

Sometimes May and Tony exchanged Peter-gossip, which would mostly just include whether or not Peter had gotten home, or if he was out patrolling. Before you get started saying anything, know that it was a school night, and no Tony is not acting like a dad would. Besides Peter was horrible at looking after himself. It was sometimes so bad that Tony wondered why he hadn’t gotten stress ulcers yet, just from the sheer panic the kid sometimes puts him through. Who leaves five minutes before school, when the ride there takes fifteen?? Sometimes Tony would say blast the school policies that said he wasn’t allowed to take the Suit there since it creates scorch marks everywhere. (It happens one goddamn time, and it’s never going to leave you anytime soon.) It’s always, Mr. Stark remember that one time you broke through the sports hall roof, or that other time with the gate incident? (let’s not talk about that one). Okay, so maybe it had happened a bit more than once. But he paid for the damages! He just wanted to drop of Peter and show everyone in his godawful class where to shove it (except for Ned, he was an angel and Tony was thrilled that he was there).

 

And oh yeah then there was the matter of Thor being back, which was great Tony loved Thor. He was like an oversized retriever that just needed some love and some pop tarts. The real problem came in the shape of his emo little brother being along for the ride. As said before Tony freaking loved Thor, the embodiment of a black cat bringing chaos? Not so much. The problem was though, that Tony couldn’t really be mad at Loki. Yeah sure, he tried to enslave humanity and all that some years back, but who cared anymore? Bigger things had happened since then, and Tony really just wanted to lie back and relax. Besides if Loki didn’t threaten his coffee then no harm, but if he did it would mean war.

 

To be honest Tony hadn’t seen that much of Loki. They had been back in nearly a week, and Tony could count the times he had seen Loki wandering about on one single hand. Both Thor and Tony checked up on him by the help of Jarvis (see he could be responsible). Thor’s face when he had heard Jarvis again made Tony weep; on the inside though. Jarvis informed them that basically all Loki was doing was reading books, which did explain why nearly all of Tony’s books had all but gone missing.

 

Some weeks passed by, and Loki was still nowhere to be seen. Tony knew that he went out sometimes since there was a sink that was always full in the morning, and he knows that Thor is very good at cleaning up after himself, so the chances of it being him were slim.  Tony was glad that Loki seemed to be getting some food. He still feels that he would want Loki to join them sometime at the dinner table. If they were very lucky then the kid would be there, and he could use all the charms he had to worm his way inside Loki’s heart and befriend him, and then hopefully Tony could go back to relaxing, reading and drinking a cup of tea, with all the books that had gone missing.

 

But of bloody course, that isn’t what happened at all. Hindsight truly was an ass sometimes.

 

See, what happened was that nothing happened according to plan.

 

The dinner went great. Thor ate a lot, Loki ate some, Peter provided the small-talk, and Tony sat back and watched the madness happen.

 

The spider kid was superb at small-talk, and Tony was confident in the thought that if he sat Peter in a room full of investors then they would give all their funding’s away. There was no way that you could say no to Peter. He had worse puppy dog than Thor, and that was saying something. It was lucky that Tony had gotten immune to puppy dog eyes a long time ago because if he hadn’t then he would gladly hand over his company to Peter if he asked. And then Pepper would come knocking on his door, but she wouldn’t be able to stay mad since she absolutely adored the kid too. It was beyond hilarious, to see Peppers look and mother hen-ing directed at someone other than himself. But now Thor had come back. And he was always coming after him, which Tony didn’t quite understand, since for once in his lifetime, he was finally taking care of himself - he ignored the thought that if his old child therapist was aware of this then she would be weeping with joy, and singing kumbaya together with Pepper, Rhodey and Jarvis, and rejoicing that Tony had finally found his reasonable side regarding himself.  

 

Anyways, moving on from that. As said, the dinner went great, but in hindsight, Tony wondered if it worked a little too well.

 

Peter’s personality was an unexpectedly good match with Loki’s more distant personality. They hit it off rather quickly, and that was when that Tony knew that this may end in disaster. They had the possibility of becoming a demon trio from hell. And Tony was decidedly not ready to handle two tricksters. Although, it was first when Peter asked Loki, completely out of the blue “Why are you always so angry Mr. Loki?”

 

Tony gave a small chuckle, but with a quick glance to Loki, he stopped. He wasn’t suicidal.

 

Peter made to backtrack thinking he had insulted the other man. It was kind of endearing how much he spluttered and gestured wildly with his hands. He was a lot like Tony himself that way. But before the kid could make the situation worse, as he was sometimes prone to do, answered Loki in the most deadpan expression, “I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off”

 

Peter made a complete turnaround than how he behaved earlier and was now talking a mile a minute about something called memes (me-mes?).

 

Stuck in their cluelessness gave they the look ™over the table. Both were old enough (one a bit older than the other), to not understand what kids were talking about these days. Back in Tony’s days, it was Myspace, is that even still a thing?

 

And this is when Tony came to realize that they might be thoroughly and utterly screwed. If these two teamed up, who knows what would happen.

 

Thor seemed to notice it as well, since he seemed to dread the pranks that were sure to come, as well.

 

All of this was of course only just the calm before the storm. Later, Tony would hate himself for jinxing it.

 

They didn’t really see the chance at first, perhaps if they had they could have prepared for the war that was about to come. But as it was, Tony was as oblivious with this, as he was with everything else. Somewhere along the line where he had to explain why he hadn’t stopped it, he would perturbed say that Thor could have done something as well. Everyone knew that Tony could not say no to Peter Parker, and Thor was also a sucker for a happy Loki; which, you know was a problem since then no one could say no to these two terrors.

 

They might suffer in silence, but damn it was worth it.

 

_____

 

Tony came to the notion that he had adopted a weird kid. He, of course, wasn’t going to voice this realization, however. Last time he had ‘accidentally’ called Peter his kid had he gotten flustered and Jarvis wouldn’t let him hear the end of it for weeks afterward. Tony would like to point out though, that at the bottom of it all it was all Peters fault. Since, he was the one that had started calling him Mr. Dad, resulting in that Tony got flustered and called him son (accidentally). It wasn’t like Tony cared that much about the kid, not on that son and dad level anyways, nuh-uh.

 

But anyway, the knowledge about what he had truly begun, came to him when he overheard Loki and his kid (he could call him his kid when no one was around, okay!) talking about whether or not he was a vampire or not. He had been on his merry way down the hallway leading to the common kitchen. Of course, he could just use his own kitchen, but let’s just say that it didn’t have the good coffee beans or something. He was passing the picture portrayed him as Iron Man when he heard voices muttering. It was coming from a dark room, where the door had been left slightly ajar, so the voices carried easily out into the hallway.

 

Tony could hear a voice that was suspiciously very much alike their resident avid book reader say “Vampires you say? Well, I must admit that I did indeed meet some around the 15th century. Although I can certainly recall someone that looked a lot like our Tony Stark. Maybe these conspiracies are correct young Peter”

 

It was much easier to hear Peter because he exclaimed very loudly “No freaking way Mr. Lokes! I have to tell this to someone!”

 

Loki gave a little chuckle, and maybe it was just Tony and his paranoia, but it did sound a little tiny bit evil. Tony walked silently away, praying for his life that was surely about to get that much harder.

 

Tony suffered through Peter and Loki wearing garlic chains around their necks.  Thor wasn’t much help since he had been pulled into the conspiracy as well. That meant that every team dinner Tony had to eat garlic food, not that he was complaining though. He utterly loved garlic bread, if he died (giving that he hadn’t reached immortality or something) then he wanted to be buried with garlic and be praised at the garlic gods. Alas, loathe as he was to admit it. Three weeks of nothing but garlic on the menu it was beginning to become a bit dull. But it was really fun pretending to be burnt by the garlic. He had even invented no reflection-mirror, to make it look like he didn’t have one. Their reactions were great, and Jarvis helped him put it on YouTube.

 

There was a day on the fortnight mark where Tony was beyond tired, having stayed up late since he had had an idea for a new trick to use. It would implement the help of Jarvis, who as we all know was a little shit, so of course, he was delighted to help.

 

He had been on his way to get a cup of coffee, and on a whim, he had decided to get the big cups. The ones that looked like a wine glass, because why not. He had seen it at a yard sale some years ago and had even gotten a silver glitter jacket and a see-through shirt with it. It was a good deal and had added formidable to his fashion back at MIT when he had been a true disaster. God how had Rhodey even survived him. Unluckily the big cups had been moved to the upper shelf since some people thought that would be hilarious (he suspected Loki, since he was so damn tall and all), and now he needed to boost himself up (shut up, he wasn’t small, he had just more stuff packed into a small space that was all).

 

He took a chair from the table, but even with the additional height, he needed to stand on the tip of his toes (damn those high people that could read the damned high shelves). He reached above himself, putting one knee on the counter, and finally, he could grasp the cupboard handles leading to the sweet heaven of big coffee mugs. But as he reached to take down one of the mugs tipped the chair precariously to the left. Tony, being the genius that he was, tries to get back his equilibrium by putting down the leg that had before been situated at the counter. Although at that moment he tipped the balance to the left, and the chair fell. 

 

Tony could feel the wind whipping past him, but all he could think about was the mug also going down, and how if that broke then something inside of him would do too (even though he could technically just buy a new one).

 

Alas, before the young-ish prince dashed into the villainy floor a brave young man came to save him.

 

Tony thought Loki was a shitty guy actually, not hero material at all. If the guy was going to use magic to catch his fall, then the least he could do would be that Tony did not look like a damsel in distress. It was embarrassing. He just came out to have a good time and honestly, he is feeling so attacked right now.

 

The magic helped him get up and stand on his own two feet. Tony decided that the best course of action would be to act like nothing strange had happened and then proceeded to trip over his own leg and nearly fall again.

 

He got up again with a red tint to his cheeks, therefore deciding that he was going to drown his sorrows away in coffee and a damn good book. He wanted to get out of there fast, so he quickly took what he needed and made it into a deadly cocktail that is too dark and strong for normal people to handle, only coffee-gods like Tony Stark would be able to drink.

 

He poured in the water and stirred it, so the coffee grounds got dissolved. He wasn’t a savage after all.  He concluded that the coffee must have been stirred enough and then proceeded to drown the entire thing. If he was going to be remembered, then he might as well go out with a bang.

 

Of course, being a genius and all, had its desired effect.

 

Loki didn’t mention his clumsiness and was however very much impressed with Tony’s level of coffee drinking skills. Which, to be fair, was pretty darn good if he said so himself.

 

Loki eyed the coffee and the big-ass cup, and was truly bewildered “How are you even still alive?”

 

Tony walked out, but before he went into the hallway he looked backward like a badass and said “spite”, then turned around and narrowly missed bumping into the doorframe. (Nobody could testify that it happened, and Jarvis had so much blackmail material on him, that if he decided to go Skynet, then Tony was in serious trouble, so one more video clip of him being clumsy hardly mattered) 

_____

 

Many people thought that Loki was a reclusive guy. And well, they might be right. But Peter just thought he needed a hug because let’s be honest, who doesn’t?

 

The problem was though that Loki was a pretty sneaky guy. No matter how many times Peter cornered him or attacked him with a hug from behind had Loki always evaded. It was starting to get frustrating, and the blackmail material Loki now had on him, because of all the times he had fallen in funny positions were piling, and Peter would rather avoid adding to it in the foreseeable future. One time he had hidden at the ceiling, hiding his body behind a cranny and doing slow breathing techniques (Loki was a god after all). Loki had walked in, nothing that much out of the ordinary, so Peter had jumped down ready to give him the best hug ever. Which was when Loki promptly turned into a snake, and Peter started screaming. It was just so bloody cute. Looking back, it was probably not the reaction that Loki had wanted, because instead of fleeing in fear, Peter had cradled him in his arms. So, in a way, Peter had given his hug (take that Loki).

 

Thor and Peter had created a group chat where they bonded through cute pictures of snakes and asking each other “do you think this is Loki?”. Peter was proud of the fact that he helped contribute to Thor’s knowledge of meme culture, since Mr. Dad was the worst, at anything like that. The man still thought that snapchat was lit, which let’s face it. Snapchat has been going downhill in forever.  (Furthermore, they had to give Tony a crash course on proper texting techniques, the man was an avid double texter, and Peter needed to concentrate on his homework goddamnit. Also, Pepper had sought him out asking him if he could fix Tony’s new hobby since the man hadn’t done anything for SI in weeks, and the board was starting to get ‘ugh’ (a special Tony stark Syndrome) about it).

 

One fine Monday morning had Loki come down, looking exhausted. Peter could remember it vividly. The sun shone brightly through the panorama window, reflecting off the kitchen counter. A step stool was standing by the counter, in case Tony needed it (even if he pretended it was for Peter). Loki walked in, wearing his usual skinny jeans, and his green leather shirt (Peter didn’t know how he did it, SKINNY JEANS??). He looked exhausted and had huge dark rings under his eyes. A book was clutched in his left hand, and he fumbled around for the coffee pot with his right. Peter knew this was his chance. High on sugar as he was (Tony might think he was able to hide the candies from him, but Jarvis was a traitor that was on Peter’s side in this holy sugar war), snug he up behind him, and hugged Loki.

 

 Loki had looked down rather dumbly-but never let you hear you say that, or else you are toast, and asked: “What is this?”.

 

“Affection” Peter only hugged him tighter.

 

“Disgusting… Do it again”

 

Peter was right because he is awesome like that.

 

_____

 

Tony possessed no doubt in his mind that Loki was undoubtedly crazy as heck. He had even conjured up a scientific examination of him. (It wasn’t spying per se, more like keeping a watchful eye on his ~~son,~~ intern). Like the good genius that he was. He had even found it on scientific proof! Tony could honestly not fathom wearing black skinny jeans every day, and sometimes they were Leather. What is even up with that? Leather jeans? That is just weird. Fashion is bad enough as it is, it doesn’t need to get any weirder.

 

Bear in mind that Tony could pay attention to how he looked. If you asked Rhodey, he would go on entire lectures about how Tony had been. If you got him drunk enough, he would spill everything, so Tony tried to get him away from that end, in the meaning of saving Tony’s dignity, or the little he had left anyhow.  Tony knew he looked damn good in everything he wore, but right now he just enjoyed wearing sweatpants and hoodies all the time. Everything was so relaxing. Although Pepper’s reaction to when he had shown up in a board meeting in pants, he hadn’t changed in four days, and an old worn band t-shirt, hair sticking up every way and grease all over, had not been happy. But honestly, it was either that or being three hours late if he had to pick out the right shoes and suit. It was a hard choice between a Dunhill a Gucci and an Armani. His life was hard okay. And then he also needed to think about the cufflinks. Those were very important as well.

 

He decided to confront Loki about his craziness (try to get him to explain how, he could wear skinny jeans -sometimes leather- all the damn time). Well, he called it ‘confronting’ when it was more like, him lounging around in his couch reading a book, and Loki casually coming in then putting his leg up on the table (Tony’s beautiful mahogany table, now stained with boot prints). Tony wasn’t stupid, he could catch a hint, and Loki was oozing “I wanna talk about my perfect body”.

Well, it did help that he was talking to Peter on the phone (when had he gotten himself a phone?) discussing how perfect he was, and Peter indulging him because he was pure like that (Tony had to fight the urge to say, ‘that is mahogany’. He could hear Peters voice over the phone saying, “Except for the treason thing”, which is true, but he shouldn’t say it.

Loki eye-rolled and took his boot down from the table, Tony silently cried when he saw the imprint on his wonderful precious table, “Okay so, occasionally I commit treason”.

Tony was still staring forlornly at his now not-perfect table. He had just bought it since he had a coffee stain on the last table.

“How can you even wear skinny jeans for fun?” he eyed the jeans with disdain, totally ignoring the look Loki was sending his way. If he was going out, he was going down swinging.

 

Luckily, instead of killing him a thousand ways to Sunday Loki decided to sprout wisdom on this ignorant Midgardian “There is no reason not to look your best Antony, besides I wouldn’t be able to call myself Loki if I had no care of what I’m wearing”.

 

Deciding that he didn’t really care if he was going to piss off a god (he had pissed off The God before, so why should he care about pissing off Loki?) “And there comes the diva. I always knew you were one, right from our first meeting. Why else, would you choose such a pristine building such as the Stark Tower?” He ignored the snort from Loki, at the ‘pristine tower’, Tony knew he was right, it was just an ignorant soul that couldn’t see the greatness he was living in.

 

“I dress to kill Antony. You should learn from me. You have all your money, I spend lots of money, we could be great together” Loki batted his eyelashes ridiculously.

 

The coffee that Tony was going to swallow didn’t go the right way, and Tony had to remind himself to get a new couch that wasn’t covered in coffee stains.

 

Loki having completed what he set out to do walked out laughing.

Yeah, one could say that Loki was the kind of guy that would tag his own selfie as #goals.

 

_____

Tony and Thor were talking one day. Discussing how Tony could see the Loki that Thor had wanted to save so many years ago. Peter had truly helped, and no matter how much he hated all the pranks, banter and general hilariousness going on around him, then Tony couldn’t truly deny, that all of the sufferings through Loki’s drama rambles hadn’t truly been worth it.

 

They were sitting at the dinner table again. Tony was glad because the garlic had finally stopped coming, both of them seeking other stuff to entertain them. He was just glad it didn’t directly involve him anymore.

 

“Aye, your son had truly helped my brother found the peace, and I’m eternally glad that you welcomed us into your ranks”

 

Tony did not splutter all the water he just drank out of his mouth. No, matter what Jarvis would tell you. Jarvis was a little shit that should not be trusted under any circumstances when it detailed him and his son.

 

“How many of you think he is my son???”

 

There was silence all around him. If a needle was dropped on the floor, then you would be able to hear it. He was looking at the door seeing if tumbleweed was going to roll into the kitchen and start judging him too.

 

 

“I pack him lunch that one time, one time!”

 

“Sir, is it now that I should inform that there has come a new entry on the yahoo answers “How to be a good father”

 

See, Tony warned you. Jarvis had gone evil and used his wickedness to make Tony’s life that much harder.

 

Peter walked in along with Loki as Jarvis said the last sentence that he would ever utter.

 

“Mr. dad, what is going on” Peter was an angel that had walked into Tony’s life. Loki snickering behind him was a devil.

 

Tony was getting flustered. He could feel his face getting warmer, and his blood pressure was sure to have skyrocketed a little bit (he was getting old okay).

 

Peter seeing Mr. Dad get flustered thought that Mr. Stark might not want to be called Mr. Dad.

 

Luckily the godly prince was there to save the day yet again, telling both of them to shut up and accept each other’s love goddamnit. “Stark I am tired of seeing you holding yourself back, pack him all the damn lunches you want. Peter just let him drive you all the way to school for goodness sakes.” 

 

And the next day, Loki was right back to being a basic bitch yet again (just kidding, nothing about Loki is basic).

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it took me some time to write, but i am happy with how it turned out! 
> 
> Merry christmas to all of you!!!, you all deserve the best


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